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How To Stay Married 30 Years – Robert’s Friday Roundup for November 12, 2021

Hello Everyone!

November 12, 2021

How We Stayed Married 30 Years

On November 2, my wife and I celebrated 30 years married.  We traveled to Mammoth Lakes, CA for a four day, three night get away to chill out and take in the great mountain air and scenery.

While on the trip I asked myself, ‘what did it take to stay happily married for three decades?’  Here’s what came to me…

  • Respect – As long as there is respect, the marriage has a foundation to build upon.  Without respect, no amount of love or passion will enable the relationship to survive.  Times get hard, people change, and life events put a strain on the relationship.  Respect is the foundation that enabled us to build and grow forward.
  • Three Entities – There are three entities in our marriage – my wife, myself, and the marriage itself.  From the beginning, my wife and I needed our own space.  I traveled for business which gave me my space, and while I was gone, she was able to create her space, and when we were together, we looked after the marriage.  The 3 Entities concept works for us.
  • Boundaries – I am not the same man I was when we married and neither is my wife.  Our children have grown and moved out, finances are not a struggle as they were in the beginning, and we have different views on the world than we did 30 years ago.  With these changing points of view come adjustments and acceptance.  With respect to the foundation, allowing my partner the space to express her views (without judgment) is critical.
  • Honesty and Courage – Speaking our truth, no matter how painful the other may find it, is critical to longevity.  This relates to the prior virtues of respect and boundaries.  When I speak my truth with kindness, I am transparent and my partner does not try to guess what I really mean.  This is hard from time to time.  Truth can be painful but without it, the relationship dissolves.

Hope these help you in your quest for long-term partnerships!

Sayings I Heard This Week

“When I suit up and show up with a great attitude, I get written into the script.” – Anonymous
“The answer is always NO if you do not ask.”  – Robert Christiansen
“I was selling rocks upstream.” – Joe
“I found unsuspected inner resource.” – Dr. Joe Murphy
“For every downhill, there is an uphill.  For every uphill, there is a downhill.”  – Captain Obvious

Daily Videos

Every day I post a new one-minute video.  Topics range from simple suggestions to the deep, philosophical ideas I ponder throughout the day.  All are rooted in the premise that higher self-worth is the basis of all advancement and the core of a great life.   Here are the social links:

The Motive For Life PodcastThe Three Most Important Questions To Ask Yourself – Motive For Life Podcast here
Spending Money on a Trainer
This week I met with my trainer.  Each week he presses me to do more – more flexibility, more weight, and different exercises.  I also go through a mental battle with the money I am spending – it is not cheap.Good coaches are never cheap, however, they are worth it!

Since I’ve started with my training 15 weeks ago, I have…

  • Lost 17 pounds
  • Gone from 26% body fat to 20%
  • Reduced my joint stiffness and increased my flexibility
  • Significantly lifted my energy level
  • Consistently get 7 – 8 hours sleep a night

What price would you pay for these life benefits?  These are foundational and support the quality of my life in multiple areas including business and relationships.  More specifically, my confidence is at an all-time high as a result of having accomplished these goals.

Self-worth is so critical to every aspect of my lift.  Higher self-worth enabled me to spend money on the thing that is core to my personal well-being:  my health.

Below is a photo in the Eastern Sierra on a photography trip – October, 2021.

Pallas Pens – Hired a Social Marketer

We hired a social marketing team to build the Palls brand and launch the product.  Devon and I both realize that we are not social media experts so we engaged a firm to take our brand and build the community.  More on that as we continue to develop our go to market.

Pallas Pens – Whiteboard Training!

Get your pens here:

Social and Feedback
Please, send feedback to my Twitter account @robertmotive, check out this week’s one-minute videos on Instagram and TikTok, and let me know what you think about the leadership posts on LinkedIn.All the best, Robert

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